How Do I Stop Overthinking Every Little Thing?

If you've ever laid awake at night replaying a conversation, worrying about something you said (or didn't say), or spiralled into a long chain of what ifs - you're not alone. Overthinking can feel like a brain that won't stop spinning, no matter how tired you are.

And if you're a woman juggling family, relationships, work, and everything in between, the mental noise can feel relentless.

So let's talk about why we overthink - and how to start turning down the volume.

What Does Overthinking Actually Look Like?

Overthinking can show up in lots of sneaky ways, like:

• Replaying awkward or emotional conversations on loop

• Imagining worst-case scenarios (even when nothing's gone wrong)

• Second-guessing your decisions - big and small

• Getting stuck in a cycle of planning, preparing, or avoiding

• Feeling paralysed because you "can't stop thinking about it"

It's not just in your head. Overthinking is exhausting. It can impact your sleep, energy, focus, and even how you connect with the people around you.

Why Am I Like This?

If you've ever asked yourself, "Why can't I just let it go like other people?" - it's not because you're broken or dramatic. Overthinking is often a coping mechanism your brain learned to feel safer and more in control.

Many women (especially those raised in environments where emotions were dismissed or unpredictability was the norm) develop this habit of "thinking through everything" as a way to prevent things from going wrong.

It's protective - but it's also exhausting.

How to Start Calming the Overthinking Spiral

The goal isn't to never overthink again - it's to create space between the thought and your reaction. Here are a few gentle ways to start:

1. Name What's Happening

Sometimes just saying, "This is overthinking" can create enough distance to stop the spiral. You might even say it out loud or write it down.

2. Use the "Is This Helpful?" Filter

Ask yourself:

• Is this thought helpful or just loud?

• Is this preparing me - or paralysing me?

If it's not helping you move forward, it's okay to let it go.

3. Ground Yourself in the Senses

Overthinking keeps you stuck in your head. Use your body to bring you back into the present moment:

• Hold something cold

• Splash water on your face

• Focus on what you can see, hear, and feel right now

4. Give the Thought a Parking Space

If you're overthinking at bedtime or while trying to focus, keep a notepad nearby. Write down the thought and tell yourself:

"I can come back to this later, but I don't need to carry it all right now."

5. Talk It Out - With Someone Who Gets It

Sometimes your thoughts just need somewhere safe to land. Whether it's therapy, a trusted friend, or a voice note to yourself - saying it out loud helps break the loop.

You're Not Too Much - You're Carrying Too Much

Overthinking often comes from caring deeply, being responsible, and trying to hold everything together. That doesn't make you weak - it makes you human.

And you don't have to do it all alone.

Ready to Work Through the Mental Load?

At Oakstead Therapy, I work with women just like you - the ones who carry the invisible mental to-do list, who never stop thinking, and who just want some breathing room. You deserve space to breathe, feel, and find your way forward without the mental clutter.

Book a free 15-minute phone consult.

Let's chat about how counselling could help you feel calmer, clearer, and more in control - even when your brain is doing the most.

Book Now