The Mother Wound: What It Is and How It Might Be Affecting You
- Claire Smith
- Aug 26
- 2 min read
If you've ever thought things like...
"Why can't I just hold it together?"
"I shouldn't need this much rest."
"I feel like I'm too much... or not enough."
Then you're not broken. You might be carrying something called the mother wound.
This isn't about blaming your mum. It's about getting curious about the emotional patterns you've inherited. The ones that secretly shape how you speak to yourself, how you show up in relationships, and how you feel in your role as a mother.
Understanding this isn't selfish. It's healing. For you, and for the generations to come.
What Is the Mother Wound?
The mother wound refers to the emotional pain, beliefs, and patterns we inherit from our relationship with our mother - and from the culture that shaped her. It's intergenerational. It's systemic. And it often runs quietly in the background of our lives.
You might be experiencing the mother wound if you:
Constantly feel guilty or selfish for setting boundaries
Feel like your worth depends on how much you do or give
Struggle to feel emotionally safe with other women
Fear becoming "too much" or "not enough" - especially as a mother
Find yourself repeating patterns you swore you'd break
Why It Shows Up In Motherhood
Motherhood often brings the mother wound roaring to the surface. When you're parenting, you're not just caring for your child - you're bumping up against your own inner child, too.
Maybe your mum was emotionally unavailable, overly critical, self-sacrificing, or simply doing her best in a system that didn't support her. You might now find yourself:
Reacting in ways you don't fully understand
Avoiding your own needs for fear of being "like her"
Struggling to hold space for your child's big feelings
Overcompensating to be the "perfect" mum
These are all signs that the wound is asking to be witnessed.
Healing the Mother Wound
Healing doesn't mean cutting ties or placing blame. It means getting curious. It means giving yourself the mothering you may have missed. It's about reparenting the parts of you that still feel unheard, unseen, or unworthy.
Some ways to start:
Journaling about the messages you received about worth, rest, or emotion
Noticing which moments trigger your inner child while parenting
Working with a therapist to rewrite limiting beliefs
Creating space for your own needs - even when it feels uncomfortable
Practicing self-compassion (yes, even when you lose it)
You Are Not Broken - You're Becoming
If this resonates with you, know this: You're not alone. So many women are walking through life with invisible wounds - trying to break generational patterns without a roadmap.
You deserve support as you do this work. You deserve to feel empowered, seen, and emotionally safe.
Want more support?
I'm here to help. I offer counselling for women navigating motherhood, identity, and generational healing. Whether you're deep in the trenches of early motherhood or revisiting your own childhood story, you don't have to do it alone.
Join my mailing list or book a free 15-minute chat to explore how I can support you.
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